Song of the moment: Pain for Pleasure by Sum 41 [even though I don't like them]


I just got into a physical fight with my sister. It was over something stupid, too. She was all yelling at me about how messy I was and how my shoes are always on the floor [wtf? where the hell else is it supposed to go? on my bed?] and then I poked her fat and told her she was going to die of a heart attack and so on. We started yelling random insults at each other and somehow, it just lead to her digging her long claws on my arms and me dogging and blocking her punches and slaps. She pulled my hair a bit, I pushed her around, punched her a few times, etc. She started getting a little emotional as it became obvious that she was about to cry, I yelled, "Oh what, you're going to cry again? CRY, FAT BITCH, CRY THEN!" while I was giving her my outmost fiendish laugh. It was quite funny until she pulled my hair and I pushed her off me. All she has to do is sit on me and I'll fucking die. I could kick her ass, though and she was tempting me to punch her on the face and give her a black eye so I could get in trouble, but I didn't do shit like that. What she DID give me were bruises on my arms and little punctures from her long ass nails. My arms are still burning but I feel no pain.


Moving on. My mom called a few minutes ago and we were talking about airline tickets. It turns out that I have to renew my passport, which will take from 2-6 weeks. Damn, so it looks like I'm not going to the Philippines next week afterall. She said I can go there this Christmas vacation and experience the whole festivities of the Philippines, since I haven't been there for nine years and my memories of my homeland are vague and blurry. Everyone at Hodgies calls me a rice cracker because my brother keeps talking about how I don't know anything about the Philippines and that I can barely speak Tagalog anymore. I feel isolated from my family but it's okay. I'm used to being alone...


I should stop talking to people about my problems. They just don't care and they get tired of it and run away. I don't know who my real friends are anymore. I guess I'm just desperate for someone to talk to, so I just splurge out my problems to whoever talks to me.


This is Brent, by the way.


shusaru44: hey you there?
I am NOT pangit: hey
shusaru44: i talked to victor yesterday and he said that he was just kidding
shusaru44: lol
I am NOT pangit: that's good
I am NOT pangit: my sister and i just got into a physical fight
I am NOT pangit: it was kind of funny
shusaru44: lol
shusaru44: did she hit you?
I am NOT pangit: but now i have punctures and bruises on my arms and shit
I am NOT pangit: yeah
I am NOT pangit: and pulled my hair
shusaru44: that is assault
I am NOT pangit: i pushed her off me though
I am NOT pangit: i know
I am NOT pangit: i have proof, too
I am NOT pangit: but whatever
I am NOT pangit: i don't care
shusaru44: lol you could get her into so much trouble
I am NOT pangit: i know..
shusaru44: what did you do
I am NOT pangit: i put my shoes on the floor
shusaru44: lol wtf?
I am NOT pangit: she started yelling at me about how much of a slob i was
I am NOT pangit: and then i poked her fat
I am NOT pangit: and said she was gonna die of a heart attack
shusaru44: lol
I am NOT pangit: and called her a fat pig
I am NOT pangit: she was like
I am NOT pangit: "don't touch me"
shusaru44: ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I am NOT pangit: yeah, it was a fight of random insults and scratching and blah blah
shusaru44: lol
I am NOT pangit: my arms are still burning
I am NOT pangit: lol
shusaru44: is she still there?
I am NOT pangit: i think she left for work
I am NOT pangit: my mom called, but my sister didn't say shit
I am NOT pangit: she's probably going to complain to my mom later, though
I am NOT pangit: about me being messy
shusaru44: are you going to tell her
shusaru44: your mom that is
I am NOT pangit: and then i'll tell my mom about what she did to me but then my mom wouldn't care
I am NOT pangit: my mom would be on my sister's side
I am NOT pangit: so what's the point anyways
shusaru44: what for kicking your ass?
shusaru44: lol
I am NOT pangit: yeah
I am NOT pangit: because i'm supposedly a slob
shusaru44: whatever your sister is more of a slob
I am NOT pangit: yeah
I am NOT pangit: i told you me and my family has hella issues
I am NOT pangit: i probably have more but i just don't show all of it
shusaru44: bye bye
I am NOT pangit: bye..



Wow. I guess my life is funny like that. He just laughs and leaves, that's great. People come and people go. Everyone pretends to care but they never listen. No one understands me and I am forced to keep everything to myself until is just explodes like a destructive volcano.


Why don't you just hand me a knife and let me end this fucking misery.